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Social Observances (Where one entertains)
where one entertains continually. Written invita tions for the honour and style of the thing, cards and engraving for convenience, though this is perhaps contrary to the popular notion. Written invitations should be as fastidiously correct as printed ones, on mill-finished side-fold note sheets with cipher in the corner, and written in the same form as cards, unless to a familiar friend, when such precision would be absurd. Outside envelopes are only used when invitations are sent by mail. And whether so requested in the note or not, answer to accept or decline should be sent as soon as possible, no matter how slight the invitation may be, even to dine with a gentleman, or go to a picture gallery. It will not do to present oneself without a word to announce one's coming, or to stay away and appologize the first time of meeting. Good breeding is hardly shown in nicer points than this.
The person entering a room is the one to salute the company by a good morning, or how do you do, and to make his adieus, to which the rest respond. Where a stranger enters a small company, each one should be separately presented. The guest salutes the hostess and host before speaking to anyone else, and if the party is large, is introduced to two or three convenient persons that he may have somebody to talk to, though in a private house guests may accost each other without formal presentation. Near the close of a party, the host and hostess usually are to be found near the door of the parlour, and guests take leave of them with a bow and compliment for a pleasant evening, then pass to the dressing rooms after wraps and vanish without further ceremony. In small circles a bow should be given to each person about one, and leave taken of any special friend whose conversation has been particularly pleasant. A gentleman does not shake hands with a lady not of his kindred, unless she offers to do so. Unmarried ladies do not give their hands in salute to any but gentlemen relations. Ladies in any case give the hand, the gentleman respectfully presses it without shaking. It is a piece of stupid bad breeding, however, not to take the hand of anyone offered in ignorance of the rule. The best breeding always adapts itself to the customs of those about one.
When a gentleman escorts a lady to a party, he waits for her near the door of the ladies' dressing-room till she shows herself, gives her his right arm, or gives it to the elder lady if he takes two, and goes up to the hostess with her to make salutations, then after a sentence or two, turning away to join the company. After a dance with any lady it is proper to take half a turn round the room in promenade with her, and take her to the refeshment room if she wishes, always leaving her with her chaperone. An unmarried lady does not ask gentlemen to call, but the gentleman asks permission for the favour of her, or waits to be invited by her father or mother.
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