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Social Observances (This simplest society duty)
This simplest society duty is, that of making calls. A new comer should return each call within two weeks after it is made. After this, a call once in six months or a year, serves to keep up acquaintance. Calls are due to a hostess two days after a dinner party, and two days after a ball, and a week after a small party, though these are amply fulfilled by leaving one's card in the case of a gentleman, a personal call being polite from a lady who has more time.
In town, leaving a card with the corner bent signifies that it was left by its owner in person, not sent by a servant. Bending the edges of a card, means that the visit was designed for the young ladies of the house, as well as the mistress of it. If there is a visitor with the family whom you wished to see, a separate card should be left for that person, naming him or her to the servant. A card should also be left for the host, if the call was designed as a family matter, but more than three are not left at one house.
Visits of condolence are paid within a week after the funeral, and are as well expressed by leaving a card and kind inquiries of the servant. This is the only proper thing to do in case of sickness, beside asking if one can be of use. Visits of congratulation are paid in person. After the birth of a child, cards and inquiries are left at the door, when the lady is able to receive her friends, she sends her card in return "with thanks for kind inquiries," after which calls are made on her in person. Bending the corners of the cards to signify "condolence," "felicitation," "to take leave," etc., is not used so much as a penciled word or two, to express one's "kind inquiries," if there is trouble in the house, or "best wishes," if there is a wedding, or engagement. The P. P. C. card when one is going away, is a convenient way of letting friends know of your absence, the initials of "pour prendre congé" being often relinquished for the plain English "to take leave." On returning, cards are sent to all the friends one wishes to see, with one's address, and receiving day, when one day of the week is set apart for company.
From three to six are proper calling hours, and a visit may be from five minutes to half an hour, never longer, unless with a very intimate friend. A gentleman leaves his umbrella in the hall, but carries hat and cane with him, keeping the former in his left hand, never venturing to lay it on table or rack, unless invited to do so by the lady of the house. Her not doing so is a sign that it is not convenient for her to prolong his call.
A soft hat is tolerated, but the dress hat is usually carried.
The lady of the house rises to receive any guest, unless it be a very young one, and gives her hand. After the visit, she receives a gentleman's bow, and if disposed 1