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I. The Philosophy of Etiquette.

HERE is a philosophy in all the requirements of good breeding, whether in the etiquette of the table, the street, the call or in the discharge of other social duties and pleasures. The requirements which polite society demands of its votaries are not mere arbitrary rules, but will be found to be invariably the result of a careful study of the greatest good and pleasure of the greatest number. Take, for instance, a very gross and marked example: etiquette requires that the food shall be borne to the mouth on the fork and never on the knife. It is, evidently, most unclean, and, therefore, disagreeable, to see a person thrust a knife into his mouth, and exceedingly trying to delicate nerves to see him in continual danger of involuntarily enlarging his mouth by an awkward slip of the knife. If you have ever eaten next to a left-handed person at a crowded table, you need not be told of the philosophy of the rule that every one should, at least, eat "righthanded." What is true of these is also true of all the other demands of etiquette, and he is unwise, as well as boorish, who will not adapt himself to custom in such particulars after ascertaining what the usages of good society are. II. Etiquette an Aid to Success.

SOME pretend to think that these observances are useless, but we venture the assertion that if two persons, with equal intellects and advantages of person and society, start in life, he who conforms to the decencies of life-for reasonable etiquette is nothing more-will advance himself with double the rapidity of the one who considers etiquette a bore, picks his teeth at the table, uses his napkin as a handkerchief, and his knife when he should use his fork. [379] III. What it Inculcates.

Or course, foppishness is not inculcated, but strict cleanliness and perfect propriety of demeanor are, and he who enters society should be willing to pay that amount of deference to the wishes of others. He who feels it too great a bother, should wisely resolve to keep himself in strict seclusion, and not subject himself to the observation and ridicule which will most certainly be excited by singularity and awkwardness of behavior.

So true is this, that in this age of the world the plain and ordinary rules of etiquette have become a necessary part of education, and we find deportment a branch of study taught in all finishing schools.

How many have suffered almost torture from bashfulness occasioned by ignorance of what are the correct things to be done in certain contingencies, or from an awkward unfamiliarity with the requirements of custom and society. It is to relieve all such embarassments that we here condense and present in their simplest form, the rules of etiquette pertaining to every social custom; making a brief but comprehensive and complete code of the laws of society. IV. Etiquette of Dining-How Many to Invite.

INVITATIONS to a formal dinner are usually issued from two to three days to a couple of weeks before it is to occur, and the card of invitation should be at once answered, either by an acceptance or a "regret," couched in proper and becoming terms. We give some forms of both in their proper places.

1. The success of the dinner depends upon the cook and caterer, but the truest pleasures of it, "

The feast of reason and the flow of soul," depend greatly upon the tact and judgment of the host and hostess.

2. Pleasant people must be invited, and a proper number brought togetherneither too many nor too few. If there is a large crowd, acquaintance progresses more slowly, and it is more difficult to select in such numbers the persons best suited to cause a feeling of genial good humor, or, as the French aptly express it, bonhommie.

3. On the other hand, if the party is too small, it will lack the proper element of diversity, without which it is apt to sink into monotonous insipidity.

4. From six to fifteen (never thirteen, since the superstitions of some people concerning that number should be consulted) make a party combining all of the necessary advantages.

5. In regard to the number thirteen, it may not be generally known that, until the close of the Bourbon dynasty in France, there were certain persons who made a living by acting as diners-out, to fill up any parties which from accident or other causes were found, on sitting down to the table, to consist of this unlucky number. These trieziemes, as they were called, were men of culture, wit and accomplishments, and were always ready at a moment's notice to make up a party to the number of fourteen, receiving therefor a stipulated wage.

V. Dinner Costumes. 1. IF an invitation to a formal dinner is accepted, it is expected that the guest will appear in the regulation full dress," which consists of black waistcoat, trowsers and coat, with white gloves and tie. 2. The coat must be of the swallow-tail pattern. White waistcoats were long worn with this costume, but the indications are that they will be discarded even in summer. 3. At a dinner party a gentleman is allowed to wear richer jewelry than would be considered correct on any other occasion. But few, however, avail themselves of this latitude, and the only essential requirement is that the costume should be clean and well brushed. 4. Patent leather boots are never proper, but very low shoes of this material and black silk socks are fashionable. 5. The costume of a lady should be elaborate, fully as much so as for a ball, and she is expected to wear her richest jewelry. The dress should be of silk, or of some thin white fabric, and fashionably made. The hair, dressed; the gloves, delicate in color and perfect in fit; and the fan, either match or contrast with the color worn.

VI. Informal Dinners. 1. A SUNDAY dinner, or an informal invitation, does not require full dress either for lady or gentleman; though for either, dark, neat clothing should be worn. be worn. 2. The costume of the lady should be demi toilette. 3. For the gentleman, a frock-coat will do well in most parts of the United States. 4. It is very important to reach the house to which you have been invited at the proper time. If you call too early, your hostess may not be ready to receive; if too late, you commit the unpardonable rudeness of causing the dinner to lose its freshness, and the other guests to wait. 5. Ten to fifteen minutes before the appointed hour is about the proper time to reach the house. 6. The very sensible rule now obtains never to wait the dinner for a single guest, so if you are the solitary exception to promptness, it should cause you no annoyance to find the rest at dinner.

VII. How to Receive Guests.

THE hostess, before the arrival of the earliest, should make a last survey of dining-room and parlor to see that all is arranged in order, and then, accompanied by the grown members of her family, wait in the parlor to receive the guests. the guests. 1. The room must be neatly and tastefully arranged, well lighted, and in winter, well warmed. 2. The welcome should be pleasant and cordial, the lady advancing slightly to receive each guest as announced. A formal stiffness should be avoided, and should either the dinner or the guests prove tardy, the defect should be atoned for by pleasant and diverting conversation, not a trace of annoyance being allowed to become visible. 3. If the dinner is ultra formal, a tray containing cards is handed around among the gentlemen, each card containing the name of a gentleman and that of the lady he is to escort in to dinner. 4. These cards are sometimes enclosed in envelopes and left on a tray in the hall, or handed to the gentlemen, by the servant, as he is announced. 5. In less formal parties the hostess or host pairs off the couples. Each guest should be introduced to those with whom he or she may be unacquainted.

VIII. At the Table.

1. On going in to the table the host leads the way with the most distinguished honored. or eldest lady, the hostess follows last with the gentleman who is most entitled to be honored.

2. The host places his escort at his right, and this order is followed with all the guests; the ladies sitting always to the right of the gentlemen.

3. When all have reached the table, they stand at their designated places until the hostess seats herself; then the other ladies immediately follow, and their escorts then take seats.

4. There should be no observable difference in the time of the seating of the two sexes, but the lady having taken her chair, should be followed immediately by her escort.

5. In passing the various dishes, the servants begin at the lady upon the right of the host, ending with the hostess; while those serving the other side of the table begin with the gentleman seated to the right of the hostess and end with the host.

6. As soon as seated, guests remove their gloves, and lay over them their napkins .

7. The napkin, it is almost useless to say, is never to be used as a handkerchief, or tucked, as a child's bibb, into the collar of the coat or waist-coat.

8. Unless raw oysters are provided, soup is always the first course.

If it is not relished, a sip or two may be taken, or it may, without any breach of etiquette, be left untasted.

9. Of soup, or of fish, which forms the second course, no one should ever take the second plate. second plate.

10. It is not necessary to wait until all are served before beginning to eat. 11. In a formal dinner all are helped by the servants, who places the portion before each.

12. Sauce should never be poured upon any article of food; if you wish it, the footman or servant helps you with a sauce-ladle. 13. Never call for any particular part of a dish, but being asked, do not hesitate to state your preference.

14. Never suffer your plate to be helped to a dish of which you do not know the nature; it is best to ask modestly and plainly what it is, as no one is supposed to be a chef de cuisine, and familiar with all dishes.

IX. How to Serve a Dinner. シ EVERY dinner may not be grand, but no matter what its cost, it can be served in such a manner as to impress all the guests favorably. Table and room should be handsomely decorated, and if it is possible to obtain them, flowers should adorn both room and board. The glass should be brilliant, the silver and cutlery well polished, well polished, and cloth and napkins fresh and white. Creme or ecru cloths and napkins, which have began to come into favor, are used only for breakfast, luncheon or cold suppers; never at a formal dinner-table, with its broad glare of light.