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Ents, Etc
I. Street Deportment.
HE first recognition should come from the lady.
2. Always raise the hat with the hand farthest from the person saluted.
3. Merely touch or but slightly raise the hat to a gentleman friend, unless of high rank, advanced years, a clergyman, a person in some manner distinguished, or accompanied by a lady. 4. A gentleman should never stop a lady in the street, though a lady may venture to stop a gentleman.
5. A gentleman should always carry a lady's packages and bundles, even the smallest, but should never volunteer to carry her parasol
6. He should never smoke while escorting a lady or speaking to one.
7. Gentlemen friends meeting should slightly raise the hat with the left hand, while the right hand is extended and shaken.
8. In shaking hands it is boorish to hold the hand for any length of time.
9. To give a violent jerk to the arm or to violently wring another's hand is very rude. 10. Only a dude or simpleton extends two fingers to be shaken. 11. Always give to those feebler, or more aged than yourself, or those of exalted position, the inner side of the walk. 12. Always accommodate your gait to that of a lady or an aged or infirm person. 13. Do not rush violently or swing the arms and body ungracefully in walking.
II. General Rules of Street Deportment.
1. A LADY is not expected to recognize a friend across a street.
2. Neither ladies nor gentlemen should stare about them or indulge in loud talk or laughter on the street or in a public conveyance. 3. Never call to a person across a street. [395]
4. Never turn and look after a person. If you must see them again, it is better to turn back and go in the direction they are going.
5. No lady ever was, nor ever could be, guilty of the small and contemptible meanness of sneering at the dress of another, or of turning around to gaze superciliously at it, nor make uncomplimentary remarks about it. Only a fishwoman or a parvenue can condescend to such a thing. store.
6. Do not eat in the street; it can never be done gracefully.
7. Never nod to a person in a store; if you wish to speak to them, go into the
8. When accosted by a lady in the street, never show signs of impatience; let her intimate the termination of the interview by a slight bow.
9. Never attempt to force your way with a lady through a crowd. If politely requested, the throng will always make way.
10. Always introduce any friend who may be with you when stopped on the street. If spoken to and stopped by a lady, all of the party of gentlemen with whom you are walking should pause and raise their hats, and the one with whom you are side by side should be introduced.
11. Gentlemen should always uncover to ladies when spoken to on the street.
III. Special Rules of Street Deportment,
1. NEVER call a friend out from a party he may be with for a long talk. If necessary to talk with him, apologize to the others, and make your interview brief.
2. Never discuss private or personal matters in a crowd or on the street.
3. Any gentleman may offer a lady his umbrella in a storm, but if a stranger it should be pleasantly yet firmly declined. If an acquaintance, it may be accepted, but should be promptly returned.
4. In a 'bus or street car, a lady's fare should be passed. Most gentlemen will give their seats to ladies unable to obtain one, but no lady will accept without thanking the donor, who should bow in return.
5. Any stranger may assist a lady, an old person, or an invalid, who is in difficulties. This assistance is repaid with thanks, and is no basis for acquaintance.
6. If the way is clear, allow the lady to precede you; if any difficulty or danger is in the way, the gentleman should take the lead.
7. No gentleman after rendering assistance to a strange lady, will attempt to force his acquaintance upon her.
IV. Etiquette of Introduction.
1. NEVER introduce persons unless there is a mutual desire on their part for an acquaintance. 2. Never presume to advise an introduction by saying "you ought to know him or her," "I know you'd like each other," etc. This is silly and presumptuous. 3. Gentlemen are always introduced to ladies, and inferiors to superiors
4. If gentlemen or ladies are of equal rank, introduce the younger to the older. "
Mr. Smith, permit me to introduce to you my friend, Mr. Jones;" "Mr. Brown, allow me to present to you Mr. Johnson," are simple but sufficient formula for the introduction. After this formula is gone through with, the names are pronounced in a lower tone in a reversed order.
6. When introducing anyone to a lady, your bow should show more aeference than in presenting a friend to a gentleman.
7. In introducing a number, as at a reception, it is only necessary to call the most honored name first, and join the others together as: "Allow me to present Mr. Smith, Mr. Jones, Mr. Brown, Mr. Johnson," at the same time indicating each with a slight bow. Pronounce names clearly to avoid mistakes.
8. Every introduction does not entitle one to a continuance of the acquaintance so formed. If either party desires, the acquaintance may be dropped.
9. Where the French fashion prevails, you are at liberty to address, without an introduction, any person you may meet socially at the house of an acquaintance. Being there is a sufficient guarantee of the respectability of each.
10. The slightest intimation from a lady that an introduction is not desirable, should suffice, as an explanation might prove embarrassing.
11. Ladies are given the privilege of dropping ball acquaintances, or those formed on any festive occasion.
12. It is permissible, in introducing a celebrity, to mention his distinction, as "Mr. Lowery, the artist."
13. You may drop acquaintances made in calls, unless the person should be a visitor to your friend from some other place, in which case he or she must be treated courteously during the stay.
14. A guest should be introduced to all callers.
15. A person should always be introduced by title as "Dr. Blank."
16. Two friends with different parties may stop for a short time and converse without introducing the other members of the company. Should any one be introduced, under such circumstances, recognition is not afterward obligatory..
17. If in the house of an acquaintance you are introduced to a person with whom you are at enmity, acknowledge the presentation courteously, but with reserve, as though an utter stranger.
18. Promiscuous introductions in large assemblies are not correct. Guests may introduce each other in large parties; in small ones it is the privilege of the host and hostess.
19. A married lady may shake hands with a gentleman when introduced, but a single lady should not.
20. No lady should dance with a gentleman to whom she has not been introduced. 21. Never introduce disagreeable or disreputable persons to any one. 22. Always raise vour hat when introduced on the street.
23. You are entitled to call upon the President of the United States or the
Governor of your own State at any public reception. In this case hand your card to the master of ceremonies. For a private interview it would be better to obtain the aid of some official, as Representative or Senator.
24. In calling upon the Governor of any State but your own, it would be best to carry letters from some well-known person.
25. In order to be presented to the Queen, in England, or at the court of other European sovereigns, it would be necessary to obtain the aid and advice of the resident Minister from the United States, at that court, who will give proper credentials and also inform you of the ceremonies and requirements necessary. V. Salutation.
1. GENTLEMEN friends, meeting, bow and shake hands. A married lady may shake hands with a gentleman, or an old gentleman with a young lady.
2. In shaking hands do not embarrass yourself and others by waiting to draw off your glove; merely ask to be excused for not removing it. Never receive your friends in your own house with your gloves on.
3. If a lady gives no sign of recognition, a gentleman must pass without salutation .
4. Return the bow of any respectable person, male or female, whether acouainted or not, unless you know it to be some one seeking to force an acquaintance.
5. Ladies rarely find it necessary to stop a gentleman on the street; gentlemen never presume to stop a lady thus.
6. A young unmarried lady can have no pretext for speaking to any gentleman on the street, unless it be a near relative. A bow is sufficient for other acquaintances.
7. In making a bow, or lifting the hat, there should be an easy, graceful motion; only the dude, or the cad, affects angularity, and jerks off the hat with a rapid downward motion, similar to that of an organ-grinder's monkey.
8. A lady is required, in her own house, to extend her right hand to all guests. 9.
On horseback, the lady bows but slightly to friends; the gentleman, holding reins and whip in the left hand, must raise his hat to ladies, and also, slightly, to gentlemen friends. 10. The gentleman precedes the lady going up stairs; the lady descends first. 11. In entering a room, a gentleman must carry his gloves, hat, etc., in his left hand, that his right may be free to offer to his friends. 12. Boisterous merriment, coarse conversation, loud talk and laughter, argument, anger and eccentricity, should be left to grooms and stable boys. VI. Riding and Driving.
In riding, we will suppose both lady and cavalier to be familiar with the exercise. 1. In this case, having an appointment to ride with a lady, the first care of the gentleman must be to see her safely mounted. It is usual to have the lady's horse sent by a groom some minutes before the appearance of the escort.
2. In mounting, the groom should stand at the head of the lady's horse; the escort at his shoulder, while we will suppose the lady at the left side of the animal, with her skirt held by her left hand, her right holding to the pommel of the saddle.
3. The escort stoops and holds out his left hand, in which the lady places her foot, and springs and is lifted to the saddle.
4. When the foot has been placed in the stirrup, her robe properly arranged and her seat firmly assured, the gentleman must lose no time in mounting, and then they start.
5. You ride on the lady's right side, never touching her rein, unless requested to curb her horse.
6. Accommodate the gait of your horse to that of hers. Be vigilant that no accident occurs.
7. In dismounting, the lady sees that her skirts are not held by the pommel of her saddle, and giving her left hand to the gentleman (who takes it in his right), places her foot in his left hand, and is gently assisted to the ground.
8. In the carriage, those most honored ride with their faces toward the horses; seats with back to the horses are for the less distinguished, the younger and servants.
9. Ladies enter first, but gentlemen leave the vehicle first.
10. In assisting ladies to enter or dismount, be careful that their dresses do not become soiled by the wheels, steps, etc. The place of the footman is to open and close doors, but not to assist the ladies.
11. Always drive close to the sidewalk, and then cut"
or turn the front wheels, so that there may be a larger space for ingress and egress.
12. In America, the driver sits to the right, and vehicles also turn to this direction to avoid others.
13. It is not only silly, but a breach of etiquette for a lady, when frightened, to grasp the arm of a gentleman driving.
VII. Ball and Party Etiquette. 1. For a ball or a ceremonious party, cards should be issued from ten days to three weeks in advance. If it is to be a large or brilliant affair, three weeks would be best. 2. Do not overcrowd your rooms, especially at a ball, and have as few "wallflowers," or guests who do not dance, as possible. 3. The ball-room should be well lighted, but not too warm. The floor should be well waxed, or, when it is an impromptu affair, the carpets should be smoothly covered with sail-cloth or canvas. 4. The rooms should be tastefully ornamented. Flowers, foliage, plants, etc., being always in order. The music should be slightly elevated, and, if possible, handsomely screened off from the body of the room. 5. For a ball of any pretensions, there should be a programme of dances, so that the ladies may keep a list of their engagements. 6. The music, even in the most hastily gotten-up affairs, should never consist of the piano alone. A violin, cornet, or other instrument, at least, should be added. 7. In number, there should be at least eighteen dances, and never more than twenty-four. 8. There should always be a supper, or refreshments of some kind. 9. The pleasures of the evening usually begin with a lively march; then a quadrille, waltz, etc.
VIII. The Supper, Dressing-Rooms, etc. 1. THE supper is usually eaten standing, and ices are generally to be had, even after the supper is over. 2. Good beef tea, made strong, is admirable at balls, and should always be given in cold weather. 3. The meats, fowls, etc., are ready carved. Delicious salads should always be provided, and strong coffee. Wine may be given. 4. A dressing-room for ladies, and one for gentlemen, should be provided with all the necessaries for making the toilet. 5. When guests arrive, they should be met near the door of the reception room by the hostess, who should receive them cordially. 6. Other members of the family should busy themselves in introducing the guests, finding partners for those unprovided, and in other ways seeking to make the affair enjoyable to all. 7. A gentleman cannot refuse an introduction to a lady at a ball. 1.
IX. General Rules of Party Etiquette.
IF unacquainted with a dance, a gentleman should never attempt it, unless invited by a lady to do so, and even then should acknowledge his ignorance.
2. The will of the gentleman must be completely subordinated to that of his partner, should she for any cause decline a dance, or having begun it, desire to retire, he must cheerfully acquiesce.
3. In conducting a lady to her place in a set, or to her seat after a dance, offer the arm respectfully.
4. A lady has the right to decline introductions at public balls. An introduction, even at a private ball, does not necessitate after-recognition.
5. Any excuse offered by a lady is valid.
6. A gentleman who has been declined as a partner should not ask any lady in hearing to dance in that set, but may go to another part of the room and do so. The reasons for this are obvious.
7. If a lady refuse a dance, for which she has no prior engagement, and no good excuse, a gentleman should not ask her again to honor him. 8. If a lady pleads only that she doesn't like the particular dance about to begin, the next may be asked for. Should she plead excessive fatigue, she should not dance again, as her inconsistency would have the appearance of falsehood.
9. Never attempt "fancy" steps in dancing, and do not dance too well-that is, with the air of a dancing master. Walk gracefully through quadrilles, and in waltzing, do so with a quiet grace unmarked by effort.
10. The formula: "May I have the pleasure?," "Allow me the pleasure," or, " Will you honor me?" is all that is necessary in asking for a dance.
11. It is the duty of the escort to attend the lady at the end of each dance, to hold her gloves, fan, boquet, etc., to see that she does not enter or cross the ballroom alone, and to provide her with partners.
12. Unmarried ladies should restrict themselves to two dances with any gentleman; more are apt to cause remark.
13. Never occupy the seat next to a lady you do not know; if you cannot obtain an introduction, do not embarrass her by taking that seat.
14. If a lady has no escort, and the hostess has made no arrangement for one to see her to supper, the gentleman who danced with her immediately preceding supper, will escort her to that refreshment. In entering the supper-room, do so slowly and gracefully; avoid all appearance of haste. Ladies should not remain more than ten or fifteen minutes at the table.
15. The escort, if invited to enter the lady's house, on the return from the ball, should, under ordinary circumstances, politely decline, but should call the next day.
X. Evening Parties-The Conversazione.
Or these social gatherings, conversaziones are of the most pleasant. They are intellectual gatherings, where amusement and instruction go hand in hand. The conversazione is usually given in honor of some distinguished guest, who is either a literary man, a warrior, explorer, or other celebrated personage. All the guests should be introduced, and the conversation should be general, and may be interspersed with music, dancing, etc. On the Continent of Europe, a recital of some interesting incident, the reading of a poem or essay, or the singing or execution of some brilliant piece of music, often forms part of the programme. The guests should be carefully selected for some distinction, as above suggested; in fact, the endeavor usually is to make them typical gatherings, in which there shall be a mutual interchange of ideas. XI. Concerts, Theatricals, etc.
A VERY pleasant way of passing the long winter evenings is the organization of neighborhood talent into amateur theatrical and concert companies. In these combinations, it is best to appoint a permanent stage manager, from whose casts or distribution of parts there shall be no appeal nor sulking. 1. Where there is no permanent manager, that duty usually falls upon the host or hostess of the house in which the party may be assembled. 2. Farces, one-act, or at most, two-act comedies and burlesques are the best selections, as they require little stage room, and not over one change of scene or costume. 3. The amateur company may be merely a neighborhood affair, or it may give representations in neighboring towns. It is not only a very pleasant, but a highly useful amusement, leading to a study and appreciation of the highest grade of literary productions, and educating a taste for the best and most classical works. 4. Light suppers should be provided at the places of meeting, and between the acts there may be intermissions for promenading, handing around cakes, ices, etc. 5. Loud bravoes, clapping the hands boisterously, and other rude methods of applause, are to be avoided. 6. A code of by-laws and a schedule of fines for non-attendance, failure to rehearse or to know parts, etc., should be adopted.
XII. Parlor Lectures.
THE etiquette of tea parties, lawn parties, picnics, and out-of-door parties generally, is everywhere well known, but the parlor lecture is just coming into vogue in polite society, and certainly no better mode of spending an evening to intellectual advantage was ever devised.
1. Two plans obtain: First, the members of a community, or those of them, at least, who compose the more intellectual class, organize a society, any of the members of which are supposed to be in readiness to respond to an invitation to lecture before the society, upon some subject to be chosen by the lecturer
2. The society meets at the residence of one of its members every week, or if deemed better, every two weeks, and as there is a lecture at every meeting, there is room for considerable interchange of ideas, and every member in turn gives the results of his best thought and study.
3. A lady member may contribute a song, the rendition of a brilliant piece of music, or a drawing, painting or piece of art needlework for admiration and criticism. Recitations, equally with original efforts, are acceptable.
4. The second method is to invite from neighboring towns or cities lecturers eminent in some special line of research, and assemble the society in the parlor of one of its number to give him audience. The expense is trifling, when divided among a number, and the instruction and entertainment is beyond computation in dollars and cents.
5. At these entertainments it is usual to provide a table and a lamp with an argand shade for the lecturer, who sits at the table and reads from his notes, or delivers his lecture in a colloquial tone..
6. The lecturer, if employed especially for the occasion, should be treated just as any other guest; he has contributed his time and talent in exchange for your money, and occupies no menial position.
7. The lecture should begin at eight and not occupy more than two hours in its delivery. Music is not necessary at these entertainments. 8. The company should show the greatest respect, even should the subject prove uninteresting either in selection or delivery.
9. Whispering and all remarks will cease from the beginning of the lecture. At its close any questions pertaining to its subject may be propounded to the lecturer. No chairman or other presiding officer is necessary at these lectures.
XIII. Church Etiquette.
GOING to church is so general an English and American custom, that almost every one attends some place of worship. It is a matter of etiquette: 1.
To arrive in time, so that the rest of the congregation will not be disturbed by a late entrance.
2. Never intrude into a pew without an invitation. To do so is a trespass upon private property.
3. On entering a strange church, advance a slight distance up the aisle, and wait until the usher, or some pew-owner, invites you to a seat.
4. In escorting a lady to a seat, walk beside her until the pew is reached, then permit her to enter, and follow.
5. If the services have not begun, grave and decorous conversation, in a low tone, is not improper; but there should be no whispering, giggling nor laughing.
6. When the services have begun, no remarks should be made.
7. If the forms, ritual or worship seem singular, there should be no merriment; remember that the Golden Rule is the basis of all etiquette; act as you would wish a stranger to act in the church of your choice.
8. If you should offer a seat in your pew to any one, do so in silence; a slight, graceful gesture will convey the invitation as plainly as words. A hymnal and prayerbook should be passed to the stranger. These should be open at the song or service for the day.
9. The hat, cane, umbrella, etc., should be taken into the pew and carefully placed so that neither cane nor umbrella shall fall and make a noise, which is apt to distract the attention of all.
10. When persons are entering, do not turn around to get a view of them.
11. Never bow across the church to any one after services have begun.
12. No matter how bored you may be by a long, dull and tiresome sermon, never yawn or leave the church. Your sole recourse should be in not again attending when the same minister officiates.
13. If obliged by necessity to leave church, do so as gently and noiselessly as possible, and never during prayers.
14. At the conclusion of a funeral service, wait until the relatives and nearest friends of the deceased have made their exit before leaving.
15. Only dudes and other vulgarians and simpletons gather at church entrances and in front of places of amusement to watch those who enter or come out. Such gaping, ill-bred curiosity only befits the boor, and no gentleman should be guilty of it. .
XIV. Etiquette of Visits.
1. INFORMAL and general invitations should seldom, if ever, be accepted. If your society is desired, a specific invitation will be given, and this should always be in writing.
2. Never by hints, or in any other manner, seek an invitation. A letter to friends or relatives, telling them that you will come, if convenient, is the height of illbreeding, since their only excuse to avoid an invitation, without seeming as ill-bred as yourself, must be sickness. No matter how great a bore a person may be, these selfinvitations are usually honored, though always regretfully.
3. No one but a thoroughly stupid, selfish and vulgar person, will be guilty of writing a letter or making a remark, that will force such an invitation.
4. It is best to follow the usual course in these matters.
5. A written invitation should be given, to which a reply, also in writing, should be returned acknowledging, with thanks, the invitation, and naming a day upon which you will arrive.
6. Your host should then meet you at the depot and escort you to his house, where, after meeting the members of the family, you will be shown to the room that has been prepared for you. Here you will make your toilet, put on fresh clothing, and be ready to descend to the meal which is next announced.
7. If it is late at night when you arrive, or your journey has been a long or tiresome one, the hostess will suggest early retiring.
8. Breakfast will also be later than usual, that you may have the opportunity of getting plenty of rest. At breakfast it is usual and proper that the host should give you an idea of the daily routine, the hours for meals, etc.
XV. Rules for General Guidance.
1. Your friends, and also the friends of the family, will be invited to meet you while in the city, and you will be taken to church, concerts, theaters, and whatever amusements there may be.
2. Of course, you are not expected to adopt the religion of your host, nor he yours, while you are visiting him. Each may attend different churches; but it is his duty to accompany you to your church, and to call for you after services.
3. Ladies may assist each other in little household duties while on a visit; but in volunteering and accepting such light service, judgment must be used. The time of the guest, as well as the room allotted to him, must be sacred.
4. Should sudden illness occur in the family, you may either volunteer to assist in ministering to the sufferer, or, if you can be of no assistance, it is best to take an immediate leave. Especially is the latter best, if the disease should be contagious.
5. Make no demurrer to calls and amusements suggested by host or hostess, and never show that you are bored or dissatisfied if the calls should be upon dull people, or the amusements not the most entertaining. 6. If you have no opportunity to return hospitality, small presents to the hostess and her children should be made, not as a payment, but as a complimentary testimonial of the pleasure you have received.
7. Never, to use a homely phrase, "outstay your welcome." Remember that your entertainers are not only put to additional expense while you are with them, but that their mode of life is disarranged and you are occupying a great deal of their time.
8. The announcement of your departure should be made, under ordinary circumstances, at least a day ahead.
9. While expressing regrets that you must leave, a well-bred host and hostess will not annoy you with solicitations to stay. In these matters it is taken for granted that the guest has a proper idea of the length of time he or she should remain.
XVI. Etiquette of the Funeral.
EVEN Death, the grim visitor that waits alike upon all, demands a special etiquette. When the loving circle of the home has been broken, and one of its members lies in the icy sleep of death, the grief of the remaining members demands that some dear friend shall step forward and make all the arrangements for the funeral.
1. This friend, especially if inexperienced, should call to his aid the undertaker who is to have charge of the funeral, and whose advice in regard to the ceremonial will be valuable.
2. If possible, announcements of the death and the time and place of burial should be made in the local papers, and an invitation extended to all friends to be present.
3. Invitations, written or printed, may also be sent out, of which forms will be given in the proper place.
4. It is usual for friends to call only to offer their services or leave cards while the funeral preparations are being made.
5. It is best that the friend in charge should receive all calls, so as to relieve the afflicted family from intrusion.
6. To prevent ordinary calls, as soon as the death occurs, crape should be affixed to the door or bell-knob or knocker.
7. If an old person, the crape should be black and tied with a black ribbon; if a child, white, tied with a white ribbon, and if a youthful person, or unmarried, black crape tied with white ribbon is usual.
8. The coffin should rest in the parlor, and it is here that the guests will assemble. Services may be held there, or at the church.
9. Guests must expect no attention from the members of the family. Some relative or chosen friend will receive them upon the sad occasion.
10. If there is to be a sermon in church, the coffin will be placed in front of the altar, and should be covered with a black cloth. 11. After the services an opportunity will be given to friends to take a last view of the dead. This should be done in solemn, decorous order; the congregation moving in one direction and passing by the coffin. The halt should be short. There should be no conversation.
12. When the services are concluded, the coffin will be borne to the hearse by pall-bearers, who have been selected from the nearest friends of the deceased.
13. The clergyman should now enter a carriage, and precede the hearse to the cemetery.
14. Immediately following the hearse is the carriage bearing the bereaved family; relatives and friends follow in the order of their relationship or friendship.
15. The friend in charge should see the family to their carriage, seat them, and close the door. He should also arrange the order of precedence, and attend to other matters.
16. At the gate of the cemetery, it is usual to dismount from the carriages and follow the coffin, on foot, to the grave.
17. Flowers used to decorate the coffin and the room, where the dead is lying, should be white. If an aged or married person, the ornament on the coffin is usually a cross; if young or unmarried, a wreath.
18. Societies of which deceased was a member may be notified through the papers to attend, or an invitation to the president of each society for its presence is sufficient.
19. If the death has occurred from any contagious disease, the fact should be stated in the funeral notice, and the invitation to attend omitted.
20. In England it is usual for the most deeply afflicted to remain at home, and in this country excess of grief often prevents their attendance at the grave.
21. Cards should be left for the bereaved family the week following the funeral, and in the second week brief calls may be made.
22. From these calls of condolence persons themselves lately afflicted, or in mourning, may be excused, since they might only renew their own grief.
XVII. Etiquette of the Christening.
1. When a child is to be baptized, near friends or relatives are chosen to act as sponsors or god-parents.
2. If it is the first child in the family, the preference is usually given to the grandfather on the father's side and the grandmother on the maternal side. Should this not be feasible, the other grandparents have the next preference.
3. For other children, and often for the first, other sponsors are chosen.
4. The child, clothed all in white, and held by its nurse, is carried into the church, or if at home, into the room, followed by its sponsors, side by side, but not arm in arm, and they in turn are followed by the parents; or the father alone, if the mother should be unable to attend. 5. When the question, "Who are the sponsors for this child?" is asked, the god-parents simply bow, and the ceremony proceeds. The nurse stands near the baptismal font, the child upon her left arm. Upon her right stands the god-father; the god-mother, upon her left. The parents are next to them, and behind are the relatives and friends in their order of relationship.
6. Light refreshments may be passed after the ceremony, if performed in the house; if in church, the guests usually disperse to their homes.
7. God-parents are expected to make to baby as rich presents as are in keeping with their means, and they are supposed to look after its future welfare, both temporal and spiritual.
8. No one should volunteer as a god-parent, unless he or she knows that the offer will be gladly received.
9. It is sometimes appropriate for persons of great wealth or high station to so volunteer, when they have good cause to suppose that only the superiority of their position prevents their being invited.
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