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How to Serve

Some have the luncheon brought to the table in courses, but this adds a stiffness and formality not to be desired. The most pleasant way is to have the dishes upon the table, and to dispense with the aid of servants. The luncheon at a bridal party is usually more formal; on such occasions it is customary to darken the room and light the gas or wax candles, by whose aid the feast is eaten.

Boquets presented to each guest with their napkin, and vases containing rich but not gaudy flowers are a great help to this meal.

The dress for this occasion is, of course, a street costume, but this should be fresh and elegant. The observances at luncheon are not rigidly formal, and, in fact, when well managed, this is one of the most delightfully pleasant and informal of all social meetings.

XVIII. Etiquette of Dress and Conversation. 1. CHESTERFIELD, accounting for the benefits that accrue from a polite demeanor rightly said, that but few possessed or were judges of science, art and grand achievements, but that all understand and appreciate grace, civility and politeness. 2. To be ignorant of the customs and usages of society will cause one to become constrained and bashful, and blunders and awkwardness are the result. 3. All this may easily be avoided by the study and acquirement of the few rules necessary to our guidance through all the shoals, rocks and quicksands of ignorance, awkwardness and ill-breeding. This being the case, is it not worth our while to make ourselves familiar with the canons of polite society, since it is with that class, if any, that we should desire to mingle.

XIX. The Golden Rule.

TRUE politeness is merely the practical observance, in small matters, of the "golden rule:" Not to offend the tastes of another; not to annoy him; not to place self before our neighbor, are the bases of all etiquette.

2. State your opinions plainly and mildly. Never talk loudly, nor make broad sweeping assertions.

3. Never offer to back up an opinion with a bet. Of course no gentleman will be guilty of the rudeness of an oath.

4. Always show a deference to age.

5. Never contradict any one flatly; always beg leave, smilingly, not sarcastically, to differ with them.

6. Never anticipate a slight, nor be ever ready to take one.

7. Above all, never give way to abusive argument or a quarrel.

8. Loud laughter and slang phrases are the wit and humor of the jockey and the clown. No lady or gentleman can afford to use them.

XX, Things to Avoid.

1. THE most despicable figure in society is that of the coarse, purse-proud man or woman, who depends solely upon money for standing and consideration. Next to these, if not in the same rank, is the vulgar creature who knows everything. 2. Never volunteer an opinion, nor try to monopolize the conversation. 3. It is not necessary to be foppish in order to be neat. The fop is as far at one extreme as the slouch is at the other.

4. Dress quietly, but let the material be rich; never dress loudly, and avoid much jewelry.

5. Never wear plated ornaments nor imitation gems.

6. Never whisper in company, nor attempt to monopolize the attention of a person.

7. Abstruse subjects, professional topics, religion and politics should be avoided. "The shop," as the English designate business affairs, should never enter into social conversation.

8. Indulge but seldom in quotation; never in inuendo, insinuation or punning.

9. Avoid all satire and sneering-the devil is painted always with a sneer upon his lips.

10. Never flatter, nor volunteer advice.

11. Never talk scandal.

12. Never laugh at your own jokes.

13. Never correct an error, misquotation nor other mistake of any one.

14. Never interrupt a conversation without good cause, and always apologize for so doing.

15. To inveigh against religion, or the nationality or sentiments of any one, is in the very worst of taste.

16. Sit or stand at your ease; avoid lolling, hitching about, playing with your chain or other part of your clothing.

17. Be cool, quiet and collected; avoid haste and worry.

18. The drawing-room comedian is the silliest of the silly. Buffoonery should be left to professional clowns.

19. Never exaggerate nor use highly-colored adjectives.

20. Never attempt to "show off."

21. Never bring in such sentences as " When I was in Rome," or "One day in Paris," etc.

22. Never make yourself the hero of the adventures you relate. It is homely but wise advice never to "blow your own bugle."

23. If your opinion is asked on some subject with which you are familiar, give it modestly, not as though it were infallible.

24. The practical joke is both low and cruel; no gentleman or lady would think of indulging in one.

25. Never use any foreign language, not understood by the company, unless there should be some one of that nation present who does not understand English.

26. Never, as it is termed, "take the word out of any one's mouth." Be patient, and in due time, no doubt, he who is speaking will find the word or phrase for which he is seeking. 27. Never utter a remark that you think may offend any other of the company. 28. Avoid all profanity and coarse language. 29. Avoid appealing to others to prove your assertions. XXI. Calls.

1. Modern fashion declares a call made between noon and five o'clock, a morning call, though, in some cities, calls are still made as early as eleven o'clock.

2. In extreme cases, however, strict formality is not adhered to.

3. A formal call should not exceed fifteen or twenty minutes. These are always morning calls.

4. Evening calls are neither so short nor so formal.

5. A gentleman is expected to make a call: 1st. The day after escorting a lady to an entertainment-the call being to inquire after her health. 2d. When congratulations and condolences should be tendered, as after a marriage or a death. 3d. When he desires acknowledging hospitalities received elsewhere. 4th. When he desires to hand letters of introduction he may have received. 5th. Within a week after receiving an invitation to a house, even though it was not accepted. 6th. When a friend has returned from a long absence. 7th. When he desires to acknowledge any courtesy.

XXII. General Etiquette of Calls.

1. THE gentleman retains his hat and gloves in his hand, during his call, which must be brief. be brief.

2. A friend should never be introduced without previous permission.

3. Ladies making a morning call, generally keep on their gloves, and also retain their parasols.

4. When callers retire, the hostess rings for a servant to see that they are attended to the door.

5. A hostess may retain any fancy work she may be engaged upon, but of course anything heavy is out of the question.

6. The callers should always be provided with cards, which should be sent up to insure accuracy in the name, and also to leave in case the lady of the house should not be at home.

7. When retiring after a call, do so in a gentle, graceful manner, not abruptly upon the entrance of other callers.

XXIII. Evening Calls. 1. An evening call should under no circumstances be made later than nine o'clock, and should not, under ordinary circumstances, exceed an hour. 2. If a gentleman's first call, he will retain hat and gloves. Intimate friends only should exceed an hours' stay. 3. On the second call, guests lay aside their hats and gloves on the invitation of the hostess; when, if solicited, they may spend the evening. 4. Calls should be returned within a week, especially if made by a stranger. 5. Those who settle in a new locality expect the first calls, which must be made as soon as their house is supposed to be in order. cards. a call.