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Invitations

As has been said, the dinner takes first rank among general entertainments and usually involves more or less formality. Invitations are sent out at least two weeks in advance, and should be answered immediately. The formal invitation is engraved; the guest's name, hour and date written in by hand.

Mr. and Mrs. Henry B. Anderson request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. James Brown's company at dinner on Wednesday, April the fourteenth at eight o'clock. 12 West Burton Place, March the thirty-first.

For a less formal dinner a note in the first person may be sent: My dear Mrs. Brown:

Will you and Mr. Brown dine with us informally on Thursday evening, January the eighteenth, at eight o'clock?

Sincerely yours, Elizabeth Smith Anderson. 12 West Burton Place, January the fourth.

The dinner in this case may be quite as formal as that for which the third-person invitation was sent, and evening dress is required. For a very informal little dinner an unconventional note is sent a week or less before the date set; and dinner dress is not required. Invitations to luncheon are similar to those used for dinner, although, as the affair is generally less formal, the engraved invitation is much less frequently used. Invitations for afternoon or evening occasions vary according to the number of guests and the degree of formality. For small, informal affairs the hostess simply uses her visiting card (or one engraved a trifle larger), writing in the lower left-hand corner, "Cards," "Musicale," or whatever the entertainment is to be, and under it the date and hour. She may write under her own name, "To meet Miss Mary Jones" if the entertainment is given in honor of Miss Jones. Often, however, the cordial little note of invitation is preferred by many, perhaps because it carries a more direct and personal appeal. It is a subtle compliment, sometimes well calculated to make a diffident invited guest feel that she is really wanted.

The Formal Dinner Party For the large dinner party, guests are expected to arrive at the hour appointed, and courtesy does not demand that the hostess wait more than fifteen minutes for a tardy guest.

Each gentleman finds on a tray in the dressing-room a small addressed envelope containing a card on which is written the name of the lady whom he is to escort to dinner, and "R" or "L" in one corner to indicate on which side of the table they are to sit. If he does not know the lady, the hostess should see that he is presented to her.

Introductions The hostess stands near the door and receives the guests, making such introductions as are convenient. In general, the "roof introduction" is considered sufficient especially at large dinners. Introductions, however, should be given wherever possible, for they make intercourse among one's guests easier.

On the other hand, it is not considered good form for a hostess to interrupt a conversation between guests for the purpose of making an introduction, or to introduce a guest upon his entrance to more than one other at a time.

In making introductions the names should be pronounced as distinctly as possible; nothing is more discourteous to one's guests than a muttered introduction. A certain deference is to be observed in regard to sex, age, and office or public position.

The gentleman is always presented to the lady, the usual form being, "Mrs. Brown, allow me to present Mr. Smith: Mr. Smith, Mrs. Brown." In introducing two women, either may be presented to the other, unless the difference in their ages is very evident, in which case the younger should be presented to the older. With regard to office or station, the presentation is made to the distinguished guest, thus: "Governor Clark, allow me to present Mr. Newton: Mr. Newton, Governor Clark." The exact words used in introductions are immaterial, so that the proper order is preserved. Where sex, age, and position play no part, it is sufficient to say "Mrs. Bell, this is Mrs. Adams: Mrs. Adams, Mrs.

Bell"; or, in the case of two men, "Mr. Grant, Mr. Wilson."

The tactful hostess usually adds to an introduction some remark which will enable the guests to converse more readily. She may will enable the guests to converse more readily. She may say, for instance, "Mrs. Brown, allow me to present Mrs. Smith; has just returned from London"; or "Mrs. Smith, this is Mrs.

Brown; two such ardent club women should know each other." There are very few persons who will not be grateful for some such hint.

Seating the Guests The servant watches the number of guests, and when all have arrived announces dinner; or in case of a belated guest, he waits for a signal from the hostess. When dinner is announced the host offers his right arm to the lady who is to sit at his right. The other couples follow; then, last, the hostess with the gentleman who is to sit at her right.

Guests are enabled to find their places easily by means of "place cards," on which the name of each guest is distinctly place cards," on which the name of each guest is distinctly written.

Confusion in seating the guests is thus avoided, and those who are congenial can be placed near each other.

The host and hostess may sit at the ends of the table or in the middle of each side. The lady who is to be especially honored of each side. The lady who is to be especially honored sits on the host's right, she who is to be honored next, on his left. Similarly , two gentlemen are honored by seats on the right and left of the hostess.

The hostess should, as far as possible, bring together only guests who "mix well," and should select the dinner partners tactfully. "mix well ," and should select the dinner partners tactfully.

Two very quiet people should not be seated together, or two who have very decided opinions, or two who are known to be uncongenial. The dinner should be a feast of good things other than food, and conversation should be as entertaining as possible.

Upon host and hostess, of course, devolves the duty of keeping conversation alive, though the guests are expected to do their part. Many a hostess has saved the day by a bon mot or a tactful change of subject. Some women are born hostesses, most women can be made, or rather can make themselves, successful hostesses. The chief essentials are tact, which is the saving grace of women, the ability to be interested in many things, and true kindliness. For a Breakfast For a Formal Dinner